Beauty From Pain

Hey all it is me Nikki. Now Becky told you all what happened with what's his face and everything. I was reading some comments and I pretty much decided that I was going to tell everyone how it went down and to give an update on Jess.

Well all of my family aren't members and they had been pretty upset that we were going to get married in the temple and that they couldn't be there. We talked and I said I wanted a ring ceremony and he totally agreed and we were planning on it, writing our own little vows and stuff and we were going to have Jess's dad talk about the importance of temple marriage. Now I am not sure how or why he changed his mind, but he got really mad when I brought it up to talk about what we were going to say and if we were going to make it as much like a regular wedding as possible. He went off about my family and how they don't deserve to even be a part of our wedding and how I wouldn't be able to talk to them and see them again. I told him to lay off my family and he started yelling at me telling me that he holds the priesthood and I have to listen to what he says. Okay first off you never say that to any woman and second we (as daughters of our Heavenly Father) do not have to follow a priesthood leader if they are leading us down paths that we are not comfortable with and thirdly my patriarchal blessing has some pretty strict man guidelines that he was breaking. When I told him that he went and hit me in the face! I looked at him in shock and said we were over and idk really why but he just lunged at me and was starting to hit me again so I hauled out and beat the crap out of him.

I have been in fights before (BEFORE I joined the church mind you) and growing up in an abusive household you learn how to defend yourself. I fight dirty if I have to but mainly I do self-defense stuff. Now I only have a few bruises here and there, but he has a broken arm, two black eyes, a fractured hip bone, and his left ankle is broken in too many places for the doctor's to count. All in all the fight lasted maybe ten minutes before we were found and pulled apart....well I was pulled off him. Derek and Jess's brothers came after Becky heard screaming and no one was answering the door. I have filed charges against him and I am not in any legal trouble since it was self-defense.

So there you all have it.

OH and we found out that Jess is having twins!!!!! Yeah all those tests they have been doing have revealed she has a boy and a girl growing in her! Apparently her low weight was causing premature labor or something like that. I think it also had to do with the fact that she has been sick as well. Not really sure but they said she should be fine from now on, but she will have doctor's visits every week just to make sure she is 100% We are all so excited for her and she is on cloud nine right now!


I want you all to know that even though I ended up not getting married and beating the crap out of my ex-fiance, I still know that not all guys are the same. There are decent and genuinely nice guys out there who won't try to dominate unworthily and who will consider you (and me) their greatest treasure. Yes there are creeps and jerks and guys who deserve what is coming to them, but we shouldn't judge against all of them based on the few a-holes (excuse the lanugage) out there. I have been praying a lot for understanding and for help through this. I know that Heavenly Father wants the best for me and that He doesn't want me to give up hope in all of this. It has been an experience since joining the church, not all of it good, but I still know that the Church is true and that I have a big brother and heavenly parents who loves me and are watching over me.

Don't lose hope or faith our dear readers. Keep smiling and remember that with darkness comes light. Always search for the good in the world.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease,
Nikki

P.S.- In reality though I am not as collected as this posting sounds, but with the support I am getting the burden of pain is not so heavy.